Discovering
the landscape of love and relationships can be a crushing experience for the
spirit of a maturing young women. While
the passage from child to adult can be beautiful, for some women it can be
emotional and difficult. Knowing a few
snippets of wisdom of older women in those days can be invaluable. This is my letter 20 years later to myself of
the things I wished I had known.
Dear
sweet sixteen,
Right
now you are crying frantically about him and how you would be together
forever. Girl, you are young and he is
not the only boy for you! I know he has just crushed your heart and you thought
he was meant to be in your life forever.
Your innocence is being exposed but it is going to be ok. He will end up being just the boy you decided
to lose your virginity to and after you did he walked away.
20
years from now he won’t
mean that much. He sadly won’t be the only boy that walks away and
in fact you will walk away from a couple of boys that are more into you than
you are into them. They will be as
devastated as you are now.
Now
is not the time to cry, now is the time to celebrate yourself as a beautiful,
strong and capable young women. Get out
in the world and discover all it’s wonders. Take up surfing or horse riding. Not feeling so athletic, no problem learn to
paint beautiful watercolor landscapes or computer coding (the world needs more
female computer stars!).
Surround
yourself with other women and enjoy the beauty that is life. Take picnics in the park or spend a day at
the beach. Yes it hurts when a
relationship ends. It’s a good thing to feel love and it is
hard to feel its rejection. Just view it
as a time to explore life not as a time to be crushed. Make new plans, new dreams. As one chapter closes another opens and new
adventures await.
Growing
into a confident and strong women can unfortunately be a bumpy rite of
passage. Movies, magazines, books and
television shows bombard you with signs that unless you are in a relationship
you are incomplete. Unfortunately a
number of young women, just like you feel that you need to be dating someone so
that you are happy. Don’t fall into the trap of incompatible
relationships and when the relationship inevitably breaks down thinking that
dating the next guy by the end of the week, despite crying to all their friends
that he was the love of her life, will fix your loneliness.
To
be blunt sweet girl - a man will never make you happy within yourself. Happiness is an inside job and whilst a
strong, loving relationship is wonderful if you’re unhappy single, any happiness in a
relationship will be short lived. During
the delicate phase of growing from a teenager into a women relationships can be
overwhelming and the collapse of one can feel like the world is ending.
Each
woman, including you, has the power within themselves to be independent and
happy. You are worth being unbelievably
happy. You are remarkable, unique and
stunning! Enjoy being you! Walk tall and with confidence for you are loved by
more than just that boy.
Love
your older wiser self!
